My Thing says I was listening to Hong Kong Garden when this was all happening. It Lies! It was the Lion Kind when it was posted! Oh I just can’t wait to be kiiiing….

…URG!

OK.

Lets go.

Go team!

A Challenge.

I may have promised this journal would be like 6 scroll bars worth… which at the time I meant a page. So, 6 pages…

A scroll bars worth would be damaging….

You know what! I don’t have to prove myself to you lot!! This page will be nothing other then what it is! Fly page of ranting! Flyyy….

For some reason I entitled this word doc:
Cats are Dicks.

I’ve no idea why. And I really would like to know what I had been thinking at the time to believe it was memorable enough that I would know what I had been thinking… I hate it when I think I will remember something nd the later on I see my own ‘hint’ or whatever and I go: ……What? What the fuck…

……..

…Subheadings are luff!!
Yes. Yes they are. No one needs a segue when you’ve got subheadings!

So Lets Get Started.
….I sit here and now theres PRESHA to come up with something to rant about….

…Under PRESHA…

So…. I’ve been meaning to play kingdom hearts again. It’s pretty much that or The Hobbit. The Hobbit was good wholesome fun an’ all…. Until I met the fucking evil dancing frogs that RUN at you and I freak out when things run at me. I like it even less when things run AFTER me like the fucking spiders. And then I got past those eventually- then I met the UNDEAD FUCKERS hiding in the forest that SEEK ME OUT. And once I kill one, another one comes an takes his place.

And I liked them far less then how much I didn’t not un-like the spiders.

You heard me.

So the hobbit has been sitting idle since that dark day and kingdom hearts is, again, half played.
………FUCKING DEMYX!!!

Then again, I am not sure I WANT to play it again because of those assy Berserkers….
I won’t lie to you. The first time the hammer dudes came after me I, literally: screamed, paused, and threw the controller away from me.

Don’t run at me!!! How many times must I say IT???!!

What’s the plot for the third one?? Isn’t it like that bitch, whatsername…. Kari! Isn’t it about her? I ain’t playing a game about no zipper princess. No item of clothing needs that many zippers bitch.
And you don’t deserve Sora’s devotion man.
….he is a little bit of a stalker isn’t he. I mean, when you think about it…

But by that logic so is Naruto.

…FUCK YOU** Kishimoto!! How is Naruto going to DEAL about Sasuke making a get away this time??
Stop doing that to him! Just give him is BFF and be done with all this Uchiha drama. Get down to the gritty and let’s go somewhere with Naruto’s character plot… When will he learn of Jiriya!!!??? D: D: D:

**…I’m sorry Kishimoto…. I didn’t mean it…*tears*

Know what I don’t appreciate?
This bitch seller on eBay. Who I bought the most AWSOME Tokidoki Bags off (which luckily I had not yet paid for) and they were just suddenly not a registered user!?! And I was all: ….‘dear *sellers name*, I recently noticed you are no longer a registered suer and that my purchase has been removed of eBay for undisclosed reasons. I am just noting to state “WTF!?”. Please get back to me on this matter.’

I did not get a reply. But a few months later they were a registered user again. And they no longer sell the bags.

Guess who now sends abusive messages though ghost accounts?

Yep.

Jesus.

Know what I do appreciate?
Jesus having my back.

My Lime Wire isn’t working atm.
I makes me sad. Everyday. All day. All the time.
Where will I get my illegal downloads now? Torrents are twats. I like ma lime wire …when it works D:

Pimpin Pastry
So DoodleBug and I made a cake.

And not just ANY cake my dear friends.

I was a full out, jazzed up, gun-ho, uber slick; PIMP CAKE! ~Holla!

The original idea was a Bling Cake. And we were gunna coat it with edible ball bearings. But then our minds started throwing out ‘IMP PIMP PIMP’ instead of ‘BLING BLING BLING’. I guess because the two go hand in hand. You can’t have one without the other. But regardless, form bling and shiney, we went to bling and a pimp cane. Maybe one day we shall share photos. (If I ever get them to you jess *Wince* don’t hurt me!)

It really didn’t taste as AWSOME as it looked. But nothing ever does. I mean, look at Ya Mum….

….BURN!

Bored?
Yes. So bored that I was going through old journals. And so bored that I am going to do more ‘Facts You Don’t Know…’ lists.

1/
The first time I ever stole something, I was around 6 or 7. I was at the service station and I tried to take a little packet of bolt nuts to use as toys and props when I played with ‘my little pets shops’ (don’t question my logic! I was a child!). I didn’t get away with it.

2/
I Still, have never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever EVER Tried Jalapeños!

3/
I am really attached to my cat. So I’ve decided my cat will never die. He is immortal and will never die. Ever.

4/
The second time I stole something, I was in a clothes shop. And I went into the change room and put a top on underneath what I was already wearing. I could have bought it, but didn’t want to spend 30 bucks. I did get away with that and I don’t wear the top all that much.

5/
My sister was old enough to look after me when I was a kid. So now that we’re both adults- she says she doesn’t want kids and that I put her off them because I was such a horrible child. Not it’s up to me to give mum and dad grandkids apparently. Severs me right I suppose.

6/
I once burst into hysterics when I woke up too late to watch Pokemon.

7/
From year 8 I had a maths test every Friday. I used to pretend to be writing the entire lesson, and the right at the end, my friend would fill in the sheet for me and give me answers. Because I really really really didn’t want to do it.
This continued until year 10 when our math classes were split up.
I still can’t do maths.

8/
I often have to assure myself that my house is not being broken into in the dead of night.

9/
The Last time I stole something, I took a mannequin hand from Portmans. I spent a good 5 minutes pretending to be on the phone while trying to unscrew the hand inconspicuously. I did get away with it.
Joy!

What- no-what the fucks are you doing!? You can’t do that here!
I just did biatch!

What’s with the ‘thieving’ theme? You some kind of crazy clepto??
Clearly.

Sigh
I’ve made things awkward between us, haven’t I?

Fucking Threadless Junkie
I admit I have a problem. That’s the first step right? I’m wearing one as I say this.

The second step would be quitting I guess- but fuck that! I’ve still got t-shirts to buy!!!

It really is a problem. I own close to 30 t-shirts and 2 hoodies. From [link]

This is all on top of my already unreasonable wardrobe. But to add about 25% of it is PUERLY Threadless Brand Clothes….

I just…… REALLY like them. I love the puns, the designs, the jokes, the sales, the colures, the fabric, the sizes, the styles, the smell…

But…. 30????!!!
I have one for every day of the month at least. How fucked up is that???!!!

….Oh my god… I am SO going to do that! I am going to wear a different one each day of the month!! Starting on the 1st with the first ones I ever bought!

…a Prooooojeeeeect fooooooor Maaaaaaay!!!

…So, I hear you read Twilight.
Sadly, yes.

Why do you like it?
I really don’t know! Its PURE Mary Sue!!!! The only answer is brainwashing! Brainwashing in the pages!

Obsessed? Just like everyone else?
Yes.

Unhappy about that?
Yes.

Wish you hadn’t read it?
No!

Hmm…. We still have about 2 and half pages to fill up? What will we do?
How about a list of random links? With double spacing?

That’ll work!
[link]

[link]

[link]

[link]

[link]

[link]
D:

Anyone who looks like Vincent Ventresca in your life?
Why yes there is! He works at a subgay restaurant.

Dear guy who looks like Vincent Ventresca who works at SubGay
I know there is more to you then your outer clone layer of Vince. I am sure you are a fine upstanding citizen, a well rounded member of this society. I know, for a fact, that you have artistic talents that go beyond making sandwiches- although it is a masterful talent you wield behind that counter-I know you can go further in life then making lunch for Jarred.
I know you better then any other SubGay customer. I know your heart! I know that when you make my sandwiches, you make them with care.
Run away with me forever. And our LOVE will be our bread. And our PASSION will be the meat! And our ATTRACTION will be the cheese! And our STRENGTH and LOYALTY will be represented by sauces and dressing of our choosing.
And we’ll think up a metaphor for the chocolate cookies later. But for now, lets just focus on being together forever.
Till Then, My Love.

Why is Vincent Ventresca pure love?
Have you not seen ‘Complete Savages’ or ‘The Invisible Man’?? XD XD XD
Don’t fight me of this! I’ll win.

I Found My Marbles.
Something AMAZING HAPPENDED LAST NIGHT!!!

I did MATHS!! CORRECT and PERFECT MATHS WITHOUT A CALCULATOR!!!! I used the MaD POWERZ of my brain!
(my brain had a moment, despite what the fact list above claims. I am allowed one relapse.)

It was a question in a mind game. I cant remember what it as called (give me a break! my brain is exhausted from all my calculations and schematics!) anyway, the game is filled with questions like:

You have one match. You need to light 1, the hurricane lamp, 2, a camp fire, 3, the water boiler. It is quickly becoming cold. What do you light fisrt?
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…answer?
The Match.

Are you angry?
I bet you’re angry.

Anyway,
The maths question went so:

You have a jar. And in it, you put ONE germ. After ONE minute, the germ has multiplied into TWO germs. After THREE minutes, there are now FOUR germs in the jar. It takes ONE HOUR to fill the jar.
Now, how long would it take to fill the jar, if you start out with TWO germs?

Answer? Give it a try bitchz!
The first one to give me the right answer gets …NOTHING!!
I aint your fucking mother! Although she is here with me….
(OOHHHH BUUUUURRRRNNNNN)

Anyway, that’s 6 pages of double spaced, incoherent, misspelt, unrelated adventure!

Hope that met your standards Dad.

Pages: 7.4
Words: 1,956

My longest yet (since I’ve been counting anyway)
*dead*