O’s and L’s are a fun paring.
You disagree? I harpoon you in the face.

*pppaaaaTOOONG!*

What? That’s not the noise harpoons make when they meet flesh? Of course it is! haven’t yo ever watched FreeWilly 3?! Geeze.

In Recent Events:
Ever just hunted through like your underwear draw and found some of the most random shit you could that you haven’t seen in like years? I can’t even remember what I was looking for originally- like a glove or something. And under the depths of ting si don’t wear anymore-school socks form year 8- I found: 1x king of hearts playing card, 35 cents worth of small change, 1x an old eye liner and much foundation powder, a blank cd rom- I have yet to discover what terrible secrets it holds, several incriminating documents of the old schools days- forged notes and the like, and a bandaid- unused.

Ahh the memories…. I remember when all you’d need to amuse yourself was a card, a bandaid and an eye liner.

On minute you’d be a Viking, laying siege on a playing card. The next you’d be pirate sailing away on a bit of bandaid with an eyeliner.

Yesh….
I also found my year 12 or 11 school diary. Oh the quotes I wrote on it:
>“everyone is racist expect me. Coz I’m black.” -Ahh! How half true that is.
>“In a past life I was a stereo. With speakers, and volume and a turbo… Maybe I was a Sony!”
What a waste of my permanent texter. One of the best things i ever wrote was on the school brick walls. Vera, Jess, Dani and co and such- did I thing on one wall in the canteen where we wrote facts about individual bricks. Such as: This brick has more secrets then an episode of Lost. This brick is haunted. This brick is gay, but doesn’t know it yet. This brick knows….


In Recent Legal Battles:
Me and Nestle go head to head! The legal triad even gave the popular legal script writer Dick Wolf an idea based on the incident. See his upcoming show: CRU- Confectionary Relocation Unit at 75 past 12 on TBS weeknights.

Concerning Placement:
I recently just finished my placement and now am an official employ of ABC child car centres (all of a sudden there’s a mass withdrawn of applicants at these centres by panicked bible mothers) and education express- which is the same job, just different places.

Anyway, placement id two weeks of working unpaid in a particular centre and doing all the bum jobs- like the laundry and dishwashing- which I loved because it gives you a break to children.

Anyway, I’m sitting there, playing ‘hairdresser’ and child A is brushing my hair while I flip through a Barbie magazine requesting particular hair styles.
Child A mentioned she was going to put (pretend) gel through my hair via the empty bottle.
I asked her: Oh! What does the gel do?
This is what got in return:
“It makes your hair so it thinks it’s not fat.”

My reply was: “…………ardon?”

She elaborated for me.
“It get’s in your hair and makes it so its not fat.”

So she applied the said ‘disillusioning fat-less (pretend) gel’ and continued doing her thing and tangled a brush in my bangs, while I sat there wondering; ‘…What?...’

Its not surprising that four year olds are aware that ‘fat = bad’ in his day an age, but anyone think there is a point when even a four year old will know that:
‘fat = condition/opinion/fact-of-life/social-blemish’ and that just not just a physical state?

Anyway, I also read may books to small imposable minds. And in doing so I have discovered serval books that are sure to warp their growth into fuctional members of society.

One for examplen is called : Share Said the Rooster. Written by pammela Ann.

The story revolves around two simple men. One called Bill. The other called Ben. Both of who, go through five short incidents that are there to display the effects of the message.
It is a simple message: Sharing the apple and the ladder wont have you trapped up a tree left to starve or until you eat your counter partner.

Now , of course at the start you expect Bill and Ben to have some negativity to the idea of sharing. Yet as the book progresses through the five simple stores- typically- Bill and Ben would develop an understanding of the practically of sharing.

“ ‘Share!’ said the rooster, ‘share!’ said the hen.
“ ‘No!’ said Bill. ‘No!’ said Ben.”

Apparently this version is a little soft on the new generation and the finally situation ended with the two men having decided to cut a small boat in half to have a piece each- rather then be forced to share it between them at once, or to bother shipping legal ownership between then every other weekday.

Unfortunately it stars to pour and the resulting quote is: “Good bye Bill. Good bye Ben.”

With a rather clear illustration of Bill struggling to keep swimming and Ben already (assumable) drowned.

What I believe is the moral of this story:
“Don’t act like retards! Learn to swim children! And for the love of god: when talking poultry offers advice; HEED THEIR ANIMAL WISDOM!!!”


At the moment:
-I’m kinda hungry coz I made myself a chip samage for lunch, but it tasted funny so I dinna eat its. And also I am contemplating going for my second shower in 12 hours. I like showers. Fuck the Murrey.

Is this Journal to long and tedious with no hint of plot or character development:
Well its certainly more then you needed to know.

Links I find amusing or appreciate or piss your pants worthy:
-[link] -GRATUTIOUS AMOUNTS OF EMERGY REQUIRED TO WATCH THIS!
-[link] -Nature is a cruel mistress.
-[link] – Martha Stuart got some mad skillz! Damn!
-[link] – its true! Its why I am the way I am…i should write one on the books found
-[link] –LOVE HIM! WORSHIP HIM!- its not related Naruto btw…
-[link] -This one is through.

Chris Crocker?:
:rotfl: actually what’s better then a transsexual turning on eh water works over a pop diva is the response he got- best yet- Seth Green’s response.

Don’t Know Chris Crocker yet?:
Get OFF the INTERNET!

Why is everything in this journal under sub headings?
Because I am without a decent segue. Also because-

*retract harpoon button*